Appreciation vs Valuing

Everyone appreciates being appreciated, it’s only natural.  And offering appreciation is easy and it needn’t cost a penny.  Valuing someone and their contribution is a higher level of appreciation.  It also doesn’t necessarily require a financial outlay – but it does require more thoughtfulness.  By that I mean you need to not only know what you value but what they value.

Move from simple appreciation to the deeper act of valuing by invoking the Platinum Rule, “do (give) unto others what they would like to be done unto (be given).”  Often appreciation comes under the guise of the Golden Rule and it bears the likeness of what we value and how we like to be valued.  Let’s be honest, that is just easier!  And that is why valuing someone may takes more time and thoughtfulness.  What motivates this person?  What do they need?  Want?  What can you do to tap into that motivation?

Perhaps it’s time for an example.  You have a staff member who has shown good judgment in a difficult situation and you really appreciate it.  In a staff meeting you state your appreciation of this person and feel good about praising in public.  What perhaps you didn’t know is that this person really wants to be included more than applauded.  What would really get them jazzed would be for their good judgment to be honored by asking for more of it – perhaps including them in a decision-making process, a special work group or task.

Moving from being a good manager to being a great manager can hinge on these seemingly small differentiations.  It requires that you get to know your people, see them as individuals with strengths and preferences. Listen to them, get to know them, take note of conversations where they show excitement and energy and those where they discuss challenges and obstacles.  The next time you are amazed by their contribution and want to show that you not only appreciate it but value it – put that knowledge to use!  Gift them a long lunch, tickets to a comedy show, a gift certificate for a massage, or perhaps an invitation to participate in a leadership circle – it just depends on what you know about what they value.

Give it some thought.  Who in your life is doing a great job and probably needs some affirmation of their value?  What do you know about them and what they value?  Start valuing the good work you see in your life, at work and elsewhere, and see how it will motivate them to even greater heights.  Being truly seen, known and valued for who you are and your contributions is a tremendously powerful gift.  Be generous!

Are you and your team are struggling to be generous with one another and find your way to valuing one another? I am committed to helping you you find a pathway to greater generosity of spirit and positive regard for one another.

Contact me now!

The Gift of Time

Listen to any podcast that pulls the veil back on how a business got started and you will hear about the practice of iteration.  You’ll hear how these big brands that are now household names started on someone’s laptop, how they worked out of their garage for years, had doors shut in their faces, created countless prototypes before hitting on the design, the business plan the right combination of factors to trigger their success.  How I admire them and their tenacity.

I think many of us want to believe in the myth of the overnight success but it is just that a myth.  If we want to move forward and create something new or even simply re-engineer what we have it’s going to take some time… and iteration.

Iteration.  Oh, it may go by other names like persistence, resilience, tenacity and commitment but it speaks with the same voice.  And when the voice of iteration speaks it is telling us:

“Anything worth doing is worth doing over and over again until you get it right!”

              “What lesson did you just learn?  Use it!” 

                                “Don’t give up, try again”

                                             “What if we tweaked this a little bit? What if …” 

                                                “Give it time”

Let me re-iterate – we hear and read about iteration because it is an important practice for any practice.  Do it, do it again, and again… repeat as needed.  It is a cycle but not a circle.  I’d say it is more like a spiral.  With each iteration, you hope to progress towards your goal, spiraling upward.  It would be so nice if our progress had a more linear path like a nice little chart with all the arrows pointing in a positive direction.  In reality that rarely happens.  Reality can be a bummer sometimes!

As you practice, curiosity, audacity and discernment know that you will spiral back to curiosity, audacity and discernment again and again.  You will ask, you will act and then you will assess.  With each assessment, you will be encouraged to ask more questions which will spur more action and in turn, require more assessment.  With each iteration, each cycle, you will learn, deepen your understanding and increase your ability to respond successfully.  It just never ends, because just when you think you have arrived you need to get curious about sustainability!

Can these practices become overwhelming?  Yes, they can and that is why having a supportive community is so important.  As a Facilitative Consultant, I work with individuals and groups to empower them to work with intention and joy.  Let me know how I can help you move forward.

 

Let’s talk about creating conversation

We are surrounded by noise, internal and external.  After a while it just seems like a cacophony of sound and it becomes harder and harder to discern what I need to listen to.  At the same time, it seems like it is more important than ever to figure out how to listen to one another and come to some sort of mutual understanding.  How do we do that?

As a facilitator it’s my job to make sure that everyone in the room knows what we are trying to accomplish, that everyone has a voice and that we have some ground rules in place to keep the lines of communication open while honoring our intention.

Sounds easy enough, right?  Where this breaks down is often due to a lack of transparency in any given process or conversation.  If the participants come to the table with different expectations, opposing agendas and with a defensive mind-set they are set up to fail.  Creating a safe space is the first task of the facilitator in such a situation.

My personal cocktail for these types of situations is a blend of vulnerability and humor.  Start with the easy, less personal questions that create some laughter, releases tension and helps to pave some common ground.  Momentum is built and used to propel the group to a deeper place, holding that vulnerability and transparency that is required for authentic communication.

When this type of authentic communication can be achieved – things change.  A discerning process creates a container for movement from the surface, where our differences separate us, to a deeper place of unity. The individual stories are told and woven together into a new story that is bigger, more open and able to hold it all.

Have some high stakes conversations in your future?  Let me help you create a safe space for you and your team to gather and discern, together, the next steps for your organization.